November – Things that Make Me Smile

It’s been six months. Some people know that, some people don’t – but it seems to be the way I keep time in my life now.

It was six months ago that I buried my son on his 38th birthday. He passed away from an opioid overdose. I won’t deny that it’s been a tough summer. I’ve spent a lot of hours in my garden working hard – really hard – kicking at the dirt and yelling at the sky, trying to work out my grief and make some sense of this.

I’m finding a new balance in my life and learning to more fully appreciate the positive things.   It’s a work in progress – and there are days that I fail at it. As we approach Thanksgiving – I’m thankful for what I do have in my life. I’m thankful for the support from my family – my husband, my daughter and my sister. I’m thankful for my friends who check in on me, give me a shoulder to cry on, or just give me space. I’m thankful for the sweet memories of a little boy who loved to go fishing, play with his dog and grew into a young man who fiercely loved his nieces and called himself their “funcle” (fun uncle).  And I’m thankful for the things here on our farm that keep me grounded and make me smile.

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Hannah playing with Peter the goat
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Arianna and Hannah
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A tiny hummingbird nest made of hair from Pono’s mane (our miniature horse)

Taylor

1981 – 2019

19 thoughts on “November – Things that Make Me Smile

  1. I think of you often and send a prayer to the heavens each time. I know you hurt and on some level always will. I’m so proud of how strong you are!!! Taylor was in a lot of pain but that’s gone now! I pray there is comfort in knowing that and knowing he’s in a better place! Love & Hugs

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  2. You have been on my mind the last few weeks. Allow yourself all the time you need to grieve. No timelines. Taylor, the little boy I remember, was such a joyful spirit. His smile is lighting up heaven.

    Thinking of you and love you!

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  3. What a beautiful tribute to Taylor. I love you buddy! Jeanne, know you are loved and you are in our thoughts and prayers. Love you dear friend!

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  4. Jeanne, you do have much to be thankful for: the time you were blessed to have with Taylor, the support of your caring friends and family, and a beautiful working farm where you can kick the dirt, yell at the sky and even reap a harvest.

    And I’m very thankful for our friendship.

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  5. No one can know the pain of your loss. It is a solitary feeling that can be comforted by happy memories and kind friends who are always there for you when you need them. As time goes by the pain will ease but the fond precious memories with remain strong. Stay strong and remember the good times.

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  6. Jeanne – I am so very sorry to hear about Taylor. Any time I saw him he made me laugh and he was always smiling. I am glad to hear you have a good support system as that is important after such a loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Love Kathy

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